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Episode 7: Frog King's Revenge (The Moonstone Saga)
'Frog King's Revenge '''is the seventh episode in the series and the seventh episode in The Moonstone Saga. The almost-heroes have free rein of the castle now that the kobolds have been chased out, but the threat of the bullywug king still looms! Hardwon races to save the Green Teens while Beverly and Moonshine search for the dragon's egg. Jonah the Crick Bullywug and PawPaw wrestle. Plot Synopsis In the previous episode, the Band of Boobs snuck into the Sunken Keep, where they found out that the bullywugs and kobolds were working together in an attempt to ambush them. The Boobs preemptively attacked, and killed everyone except a buff kobold named Josh, who they convinced to kill his friends. Moonshine then threw Josh at the fleeing bullywug king. The Boobs found dragon bones and Jonah, the Boots of Elven Kind, and Thiala's amulet, which cracked. The Boobs circle up to discuss all that's gone down, while Jonah and PawPaw wrestle. As the bullywug king swims in the direction of the freshly-rescued Green Teens, Hardwon goes to defend them, while Beverly and Moonshine stay to search the keep for the Dragon Egg. While investigating the Shadowfang's bones, Moonshine discovers that she was an adult dragon, around 75-100 years old. Beverly handcuffs Jonah with knots in an effort to keep him quiet and occupied. Beverly and Moonshine explore the dark chapel where they fought Porn in the previous episode. Inside is a stained glass window with the image of a sorcerer and "glowing with black and purple energy" shooting at the altar. Moonshine realizes that the stained glass is not visible from the outside. Beverly then inspects the scrolls on the altar and finds a scroll of Flame Blade, a scroll of Ice Blade, and a coupon for Tim Horton's. Beverly and Moonshine, using the Flame and Ice scrolls, respectively, summon their magical swords and slice them together on the altar. The altar begins shaking, and a pillar rises beneath it, containing the black, scaly egg of Shadowfang smooshed into a hiding place seemingly not made for the egg. Meanwhile, Hardwon spots the Bullywug King casing the Green Teen camp and charges on him with his greataxe, when he notices the King's new red cloak and magical sword. They engage in a tense battle with the Green Teens cheering Hardwon on. The Bullywug King knocks him out, but Erlin revives him with his Touch Hands ability. The King takes a swing at Erlin, but misses. Hardwon then strangles the King to death with his beard, to the excitement of the Green Teens. Erlin alerts Hardwon that the sword contains "bad magic," while Derlin and Cran tell him to grab the sword. Hardwon listens to Erlin and takes a quick nap. Back in the Sunken Keep, Beverly fruitlessly tries to use the dead kobolds' wings to glide. He fashions them into raver-wings for Moonshine, and the duo decide to head back to the Green Teen camp to meet up with Hardwon and the teens. Moonshine wonders if this is truly the egg of a dragon, and not simply a goose egg, or a rock. They arrive at the camp to a seriously hurt Hardwon with Erlin at his aide. Moonshine lifts the black-magic sword with her Chill Touch hand, and determines that it is definitely a cursed item, and Beverly determines that the sword emanates great evil. They then wrap the sword in a cloak to safely transport it. The Boobs and Green Teens decide to go back to Moonstone, while Jonah departs to search for his family in the swamp, after Moonshine and Bev send him off with an awful song. As they approach Moonstone Bay, the Boobs notice that the glow of the trident seems to be missing. Looking into the bay, the fish population appears to have dwindled. All the animals, including the bats, are "going batshit," and the Boobs happen upon an eagle attacking a fisherman. Moonshine casts Speak with Animals on the eagle, who tells her that he was instructed to "kill all the people who aren't bald... who don't have ponytails..." She then tries to attack the eagle, but fails, her Chill Touch hand forming into a middle finger, and the eagle claws the fisherman's eye out. Beverly kills the eagle. The fisherman then accosts them as to why they didn't immediately attack the eagle; Moonshine pushes him into the water, and Beverly tosses 10 gold in his direction, to the horror of the Green Teens. The Boobs rush into town and meet a breathy druid, Mateo, who is calming down a horse and tells them that the barbarians have stolen the trident. Hardwon and Mateo both pop their pecs in a silent competition of muscularity. A bear, carrying Scoutmaster Denny in its mouth, runs by, which the Boobs ignore. Mateo kisses Hardwon on the lips, and he and the Green Teens go to save Denny (and the bear), while the Boobs go to the Hungry Trout Inn and Tavern to find the barbarians. The barbarian shaman, Lund Coldspear, shoots a beam of light from the trident to control more of the nearby animals. He is joined by Garesh, the leader of the barbarians, who turns to the Band of Boobs. Moonshine attempts to play the fiddle "in honor of" the Cracked Tooth Clan, in order to win their trust. Beverly sings a dour boy song over the awful fiddle, and Garesh laughs, declares himself king, and Moonshine his court jester. While playing, a bard runs out of the tavern asking if the fiddle Moonshine is playing is Ol' Betsy, his most prized possession, which he was forced to give to the dragons. Moonshine and the bard swap fiddles. Garesh demands that everyone denounce their gods and follow him, as he has claimed leadership of the town. Hardwon denounces any and all gods, and climbs on to the roof to join up with Garesh and Lund. Garesh asks Hardwon to bend the knee, and he bends over and knees Garesh in the face! Trivia * Children of Pelor love to tickle each other, whereas Young'ins of Melora prefer to 'rassle. The children of Moridan love to dig deep into the mines. * The cursed sword is believed to be what drove the previous occupant, a noble, of the Sunken Keep crazy. * This is the first episode where we hear crick bullywug calls. * This is the first episode where the crew references how many nat 2s are rolled on the show, referring to themselves as the Band of Twos. * It is established that the geese at the Crick have big personalities. * In this episode, Moonshine swaps Old Betsy for New Betsy. Quotes * "You Hardwon respectfully closes his Josh's butthole." -Murph * "I Moonshine grab the egg with the gentle motherly touch of a Crick woman." -Moonshine Cybin * "--and that's how you juggle!" -Beverly Toegold V * "Somethin' ain't right all over this good brown earth." -Moonshine Cybin * "I hate to say it... but somethin's astray at the bay." -Moonshine Cybin * "I'm not gonna goddamn thank you, I don't have a fuckin' eye, man!" -Fisherman * "I was in a bag for a day!" -Cran * "It might be the kiss, but I actually do trust Mateo" -Hardwon Surefoot * "People of Moonstone! Who would've thought it. The greatest druid in this village, no, in this world, is the Cracked Tooth Clan's own Lundt Coldspear!" -Garesh * "God sucks!" -Hardwon Surefoot Songs "''Oh, I found myself a little dragon egg, I hope that it will hatch. You can see it you don't have to beg, just don't let it get smashed. I sit on it every night and day, and unto Pelor's light I pray that if it breaks I'll have a little drake, and earn my dragon patch!" --Beverly Toegold V External Links * Headgum * Spotify * NAD&DP Subreddit Thread Category:Episodes Category:Season 1 Category:The Moonstone Saga